Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Finding Ourselves Again.........

The past two years have presented us with a fair amount of challenges and change.  In the midst of such turmoil, it's easy to lose yourself as individuals.  Colin recently told me that he finally is starting to feel like himself again.  

Starting to fly in another country with such great cultural differences was difficult and he tried to change his flying style to adapt to his environment.  Now he realizes he has to fly the way that works best for him and just be himself. He says it's a relief to feel centered again.

I can relate to his experience on a different level. Quite unconsciously, I found myself going into survival mode to cope with the drastic changes we have experienced in the past couple of years. I pretty much withdrew from the outside world and really did a poor job of keeping up with my friends.  I stopped doing some of my favorite things and I didn't even realize it was happening. 

Perhaps it has something to do with my feeling of having come home (to Arizona that is) and getting a little more settled, that has allowed me to take a deep breath (for what seems like the first time in over a year), and get back to doing more of what I enjoy.  Spending time reading to the kids, going for walks as a family, reading a good mystery novel before bed, taking the dog for a walk by myself, or maybe just sit and do nothing but enjoy the sunset.  It seems like I should also add riding to this list but I don't think I'm quite ready to own another horse or devote the time needed to keep up said horse.  But I am enjoying playing tennis.  I'm not very good at it but I think I'm going to start taking lessons next week and hopefully that will enable me to play decently enough that I don't feel so guilty for running poor Colin all over the court, to the ends of the earth, and back again. 

Originally, I created this blog as way to deal with our journey (and wait) to become parents. Once the kids were in the picture (literally), the blog morphed into my musings about parenthood and, most importantly, to document Sophia and Keenan's childhood.  I did pretty good the first two and a half years but have failed pretty miserably the past two.  I feel like I'm ready to resume what I set out to do.  I don't think that many people still read this blog, but since I'm primarily writing it for the kids, I'm okay with that.  Besides, this way I won't have to worry so much about my typos :)

In the meantime, I'm going to head to bed, snuggle in and break out the latest Janet Evanovitch book and have a few laughs.  And that feels pretty good indeed.   


At 6:33 AM, Blogger Christine F. said...

I'm a long-time lurker commenting for the first time to say - I'm still reading! I love your updates, and have been so impressed with how you all have handled your challenges and Colin's absence this past year. You are inspiring!


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